Monsieur Baguette

Our building allows its residents to connect with each other  through a social network called Building Link. It has many functions including: a marketplace, bulletin board, and lists of preferred vendors. But, I think it is primary use is to be a public forum for kvetching. Whats more is that these complaints, in email form, are distributed to the entire building.  There are only so many of these one can take before a response is necessary. The message subjects are enough to ruffle Gandhi’s feathers. I recently reached my breaking point and I have to say it was quite therapeutic. Below, I’ve included a few examples of Building Link messages drafted by residents in my building as well as my response.

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1. “Subject: The elevator opens to a resident first floor not the lobby

Hello fellow residents,

I hate to be the one to write this but…..

Some of the residents think the first floor hallway is a lobby. It is not, people live here. Please try to keep your voices down when walking through and waiting for the elevator.

The way the building is laid out we dont have an elevator in the lobby….it is in the hallway in front of our apartments.

It is natural to be quiet in an elevator and speak at normal volume when in a lobby, however please remember the elevator does not take you to the lobby….it takes you to the residents first floor….it would be nice if you spoke softly until in the lobby.

Thank you for your consideration.

(Name has been removed)”

2. “Subject: Infant Nearly Hit By Thrown Cigarette–Please Stop Throwing Cigarettes Out Your Window

Dear Fellow Residents,

Our infant daughter was nearly hit by a cigarette thrown out of a resident’s window on the south side of the building. This is highly dangerous and without consideration for others. Would you like to be the one to burn a child?

In addition we have found numerous cigarettes and matches covering both our terrace and furniture. This has damaged our property, and we ask that you please stop this practice.

Thank you for your consideration for others,

(Name has been removed)”

3. “Subject: Title: Common Roof Areas

Hello Everyone,

I really hate to be the one to write this kind of a post, but I have to complain publicly about the way the roof is being abused. We love our apartment and really love the building, but there seems to be some confusion about where the correct common areas on the roof are located. 3-4 times a month, we see people walk straight past our balcony, look into our windows and then continue on towards the common area. Sometimes, they just lounge around whilst our dog barks her head off. Obviously some people may not find this a terrible inconvenience, but this is our home. Often times these passings have happened after a shower, when my wife and I are relaxing in our home with our deck door open, and you can imagine the issue we have with our privacy being interrupted unnecessarily. What bothers us is not that we see our neighbors walking past, but rather that these walkways, aren’t that at all, they’re emergency paths. And what’s worse, we loose all sense of security when we know that people have complete access to our home any time they like. We have spoken with management, but i’d like you all to know that we love the building because of kinship all those who live here seem to have, it’s a great feeling, and the reason we moved here.

Please keep to the golden rule, we’re not uptight a-holes living in the penthouse, trying to keep everyone from having fun, we would just ask that you respect our privacy, as we do all of yours. Please use the elevators and the proper walkways, you’re invading on the privacy of not just us, but other people who are living in these apartments on the roof.

Thank you,

(Name has been removed)”

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How would you have handled this? Let it go? Speak with management? Remove yourself from the distribution list?

Here is what I did:

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